State

Some "New" Zeb Vance Stories In ihoM* duyN, every I ova I Tar Нсч»! could tell you one. By It КЛ АН l> WALSER Whcl her as ( iovemor of North Car¬ olina (IKA2-IRA5. IK77-I879) or as United Stales Senator t IK79-l894)or in lesser office, /eh Vance, during his long public career, made political cap¬ ital out of his inborn sense of humor. In private conversation and at party gatherings and in the halls of govern¬ ment. he was always ready with a quick retort or a laughable anecdote. Mis witticisms were repeated and retold and remembered by loyal Tar Heels everyvv here. \ plethora of them can be found in the two biographies of Vance by Clement Dowd tlS*)7) and Cilenn Fucker ( 1965). ш the anthology Tar Heel Immhier с I ‘>74 ). and in newspapers and books о I Vance's period. Some twenty yarns, most of which seem not to have been recorded elsewhere, were printed in Walter Hines Page's week I > Sioie Chronicle (Raleigh) on Octobei IL IXXL Page had asked his readers to send him “all the anecdotes they ever heard him (Vance | tell" written "in as nearly his evict words as possible." In no time flat, said Page, enough replies were re¬ ceived to Fill an entire issue of his newspaper. The editor promised that he soon would “publish a complete collection of Senator Vance's anec¬ dotes. which, it need not be said, are worthy of preservation.” But Page went north shortly thereafter and never got the job done. Nor has it been done to this day. Here are a few of the "new" Vance anecdotes printed in the Chronicle. The Celebrated Cabbage Seed During a Congressional campaign in the mountain districts of the State (ac¬ cording to Vance | one of the candi¬ dates for Congress left the ordinary canvass and went out on what is known as a "still hunt." He rode up to the gate of Mr. Smith. "Hello!" "Hello yourself." "Is Mr. Smith at home?" "No. sir." said Mrs. Smith, coming to the door, "but I'm hca*. Light and come in." “No. thank you. ma'am, haven’t lime. I just wanted to see Mr. Smith. But since I ni here I rememhei my wife told me. when I left home this morning, if I came within ten miles of your house to stop and gel some of your celebrated cabbage seed She says the> were the best in the county." The old lady, hearing that her cabbage were called celebrated, became all smiles and w ith nimble fingers fixed up about a half peck in a paper and gave them to the candidate, who rode off. leaving her saying to herself that this man was mighty polite and kind. The candidate put sued his way a few miles and came to Mr. Brown’s. Mr. Brown, like Mr. Smith, was also ab¬ sent. The candidate, after a few min¬ utes' chat, said: "Well. Mrs. Brown, how are you off for cabbage seed?" "Lord bless yon i soul. I haven't hardly any." "That is what my wife told me when I left home this morning. She gave me this package, saying that if I came within ten miles of your house to give them to you. as she had heard you were scarce." Chunking him profoundly, the lady took the seed, and the candidate rode away, feeling that though his use of the truth ha i been sparing, he had made himself dear to the principal part of the family, and Caused a judicious dis¬ tribution of celebrated cabbage seed. Pool) (hmm! Doctrine "When I was running for Congress my first time.” said the Senator. "I found m one section of my district a staunch old man who controlled some fifteen or twenty votes bitterly op¬ posed to me and everything Whiggish. I could not make any kind of com¬ promise with him. "I happened to pull through, get the position, and. after I went to Wash¬ ington I sent him a copy of the Patent Office Reports, containing these double-section, self-regulating, cut- and-come-again pumps, and other things of like nature. During the next campaign I made a speech in the neighborhood of m\ old friend. He was out to hear me. paid strict attention, and after the speech w as over, came up to shake hands. He took me to one side and said: ’I ook here. Vance. I’ve been At Coprtol Squoft. i* Rologh. IW itotuc o* North Со'оЬпоЧ b*lo*ed Ci*<l Wot Оо*«мчх ond Sonoto* ii о populor ortfoctK>" »©* «into»» ond о fon.lior <ontog« pent lor p<9*©n Irtdr» 16 THE STATE, January i960