Views on Foster Care and Adoption in North Carolina
The Power of Supportive Caregivers
and Professionals
There are countless ways in which resource parents and child welfare professionals can support youth in
care. Providing thoughtful and intentional support should always be one of the top priorities of individu¬
als facilitating the growth and development of children and youth who have experienced trauma. Because
every child and youth is unique and their experiences vary, there is no one formula or path that will meet
the needs of everyone.
As a caregiver or child welfare professional, it's your responsibility to find the best way to support the
children and youth you are working alongside. Support can be something as small spending quality time
together, or as big as connecting children and youth with much needed resources. Either way, we know that
when children and youth are surrounded by supportive adults meeting their individualized needs, their
outcomes improve.
In this issue of Fostering Perspectives, our contributors wanted to share what they do support children
and youth every day. You will read contributions for resource parents, professionals, and those with lived
experience as they discuss supporting mental health, building support networks, supporting children and
youth with incarcerated parents, and much more. We hope you find it helpful.
In this Issue
Working in Partnership to Support Shared Parenting 2
Supporting Children and Youth during the Holiday Season 3
Building a Network of Support for Youth in Care from
Somone with Lived Experience 4
Keeping SiblingsTogether as a Kinship Caregiver 4
Challenges of Raising MyTeenage Siblings: A Journey of
Love and Resilience 5
Creating Supportive and Affirming Homes for
LGBTQ+ Youth 5
Professional Parenting and Innovation in Foster Care 6
Messages from Foster Family Alliance of NC 7
Supporting Children and Youth of Incarcerated Parents 10
Modeling and Teaching Emotional Coping Skills 1 1
The Importance of Father Engagement 1 2
Supporting Youth Transition into Adulthood 1 2
SaySo's Young Adult Leadership Council Shares What
Supportive Careg i ving Mean s to Th em 1 3
Talking Mental Health: Creating a Safe and
Supportive Environment for Foster Parents
Being in foster care can evoke a range of com¬
plex emotions for children, each with unique
experiences. These emotions can significantly
impact their mental well-being, from abandon¬
ment to confusion to happiness. As someone
who has worked with children in the foster care
system since 2012, 1 have witnessed firsthand
their challenges and the resilience they dem¬
onstrate. I saw brave children who faced many
obstacles and overcame many barriers. Even
now, as I provide psychotherapy to children in
foster care, many leave my office only to put a
"mask" back on, hiding their hurt and pain in
fear of their peers using it as a weakness. A mask
can also hide feelings of happiness and love
from their foster parents, for they do not know
how long the relationship will last. The imper¬
manence within the foster care system can be
taxing on one's mental health. However, it is cru¬
cial for foster parents to understand the impor¬
tance of creating an environment that prioritizes
mental health.
Why is it important for foster parents to create an
environment that speaks to mental health?
Just as physical safety is essential, emotional
safety is vital in supporting children's well-being.
As a psychotherapist working closely with foster
parents, I emphasize the need for vulnerability and
openness within the home environment.
I've had foster parents tell me that people rarely
thinkabout how hard it isforthem — to be open and
connect with a child, only for them to leave one day
without any guarantee of future contact. Address¬
ing topics such as pain and impermanence — the
change involved — and most importantly healing,
we create an atmosphere that acknowledges men¬
tal health concerns.
Creating an environment inviting enough for
children to feel vulnerable requires fostering vul¬
nerability within ourselves as foster parents. It is
important for foster parents to have their own
therapist so the child knows that the foster parent
attends therapy just like them. Too often, a foster
child's environment isn't welcoming to mental
health care, so like anything else you don't see in
your environment, you most likely will not do it
yourself.
Foster parents possess more influence than they
may realize when it comes to shaping their child's
well-being. While professional therapy is valuable,
by Dr. Anthony Andrews
fostering open communication through dedicated
"Power Hour" sessions can work wonders for build¬
ing trust and understanding between parent and
child.
"Power Hour" is a dedicated time that foster par¬
ents set aside each day for the child to talk about
whatever feelings, likes, dislikes, and worries they
may have. Whether or not they use it daily is not
the concern; the important part is that the space
is consistently available forthem. Remember, when
youth are removed from their homes it's a cha¬
otic event for everyone. It may feel hard to receive
answers to all of your questions, but still necessary
to have as much information as possible to make
informed decisions. Having key information upfront
can decrease the possibility of later disruption. It's
very unfortunate, but there are times when youth
are moved from a foster or kinship home due to a
scheduling or childcare issue that could have been
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